I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
when i’m out with my family and i see a book store
"Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same; Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends…friends…friends…friends… Harry felt a great rush of affection for Luna" — Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
everyone’s always going on about pureblood and muggleborn culture in hogwarts but what about the halfbloods
they’re the ones who know all the lyrics to the weird sisters songs and bastille songs they crush on the chosen one and tom hiddleston they go to both walt disney world and the quidditch world cup final for summer holiday and use magic to fix their laptops they’ve got the best of both worlds
Spiders are never a valid reason to discharge firearms on base, nor are they justification for calling an airstrike in on your position.
The obvious exception for our Australian base is of course, always made in this case.
What is your Steampunk Name ?
PROFESSOR VIOLET ADDLECHILD.
you know i said that with a fake english pompous accent
Duchess Josephine Addlechild
not bad tbh
i’d go by Duchie Jo
BaronessViscount Violet Theodore Rumblechild
Captain Ursula Worthingtopper
I have the worst one!
Lady Fanny Wake Child
Mine is awesome its cornel wilfred wraithhold
Lady Ursula Wraith Topper?
duchess lenore addlechild
lady violet wakestone
Lady Mildred Clankington…Alright then
Baroness Emmeline Rumblefeather
This. Is. Just. Right.